In case of emergency
Through most of my life I didn’t pray much. I went to church and prayed along with the congregation, but beyond that, I only really turned to God when I needed help.
Things would be going along just fine until - BOOM- a fight with a friend, a crisis at work, the loss of a loved one… something in my life blew up. Then I would turn to God in tears asking for help, forgiveness, or mercy. At first I felt alone, but eventually God’s peaceful presence made itself known. As things resolved, I settled down and my life eventually returned to normal - or to a new normal. By then my prayer life had faded back to where it had been with few thoughts of God outside of Sunday … until the next crisis.
Eventually I realized that I was tired of constantly getting into trouble and crying out for help only to be rescued. Bruised and humbled by each experience, I realized that I was stuck in a loop and destined to continue repeating the pattern indefinitely. This was a frustrating revelation. Surely, I thought, there had to be a better way. Couldn’t I find a way to grow from these experiences, to keep from falling in the same holes over and over? Didn’t God want more for me than this?
I confronted God with this question and God pointed out that while God is always there to help in times of trouble, God’s primary function in my life is not to be my emergency back up plan. God commands us to love God with our whole heart, mind and soul. This command points to what God desires most from us - a real relationship.
How many of us have had friends who only call us when they need something? When they are in trouble, we show up for them. Yet when we need their help, they are no where to be found. At first we are happy to help, but eventually we start feeling used. We realize that this person isn’t really our friend because there is nothing mutual about our relationship.
At some point in my life, I realized that I was using God the way my needy friends used me - reaching out when I needed help and ignoring God when things were fine. This is not what God had in mind when God asked us to Love God with our whole heart, mind and soul. (Matthew 22:36-40)
Instead, God invites us into a much deeper and more fulfilling relationship. This relationship is mutual in that both God and each of us listen to one another. We both contribute to the relationship in meaningful ways and receive attention, accompaniment, compassion and love from one another. God intends us to engage with God and one another in creating the world that both we and God long to see. God engages with us by loving us in such a way that it opens our hearts and eyes shifting our perspective, so that we begin interacting with God and the world differently. Ultimately it is through these interactions that the world evolves, becoming more like the one God envisions and promises.
This kind of transformation is only possible when we walk with God closely enough and long enough to receive God’s gift of awakening and transformation. By walking with God through highs and lows and by learning God’s ways, we will break the cycle of living from crisis to crisis. We will come to know and embody God’s peace and become more resilient through times of trial.
In my own life the shift began when I went to God observing the cycle in which I was trapped and asking for a way out. That Way continues to lead me forward. This prayer, found the Episcopal prayer book from my youth, still encourages me to keep walking along side God.
O God, you have called your servants to ventures of which we cannot see the ending, by paths as yet untrodden, through perils unknown. Give us faith to go out with good courage, not knowing where we go, but only that your hand is leading us and your love supporting us; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen
Walking with God (not in front of or behind God), we enjoy one another’s company and even have fun together. May you also enjoy your ordinary times with God. This is the abundant life that Jesus promised when he said, “I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly” (John 10:10)
