Two Left Feet

Sometimes in life I feel like I have two left feet. No matter how hard I try, nothing I do seems to work out the way I hope. In fact, too often the things I do with the best intentions back-fire.

It happens in many ways. I try to accomplish a task that I’ve promised to do, only to fall short and let people down. I try to do someone a favor, only to learn that they didn’t really want it done. I try to have an honest conversation with someone I love. Here my hope is to help them understand my perspective or see a problem that they are blind to. Yet all that happens is that I end up hurting them and damaging our relationship.

When things fall apart or blow up, I feel awful. In my frustration and humiliation I sometimes turn to God and complain. Aren’t you supposed to guide me and support me? Where were you God?

That is usually when God reminds me of his promise and warning. John 15:5-9 says, “I am the vine, you are the branches. Those who abide in me and I in them bear much fruit, because apart from me you can do nothing. Whoever does not abide in me is thrown away like a branch and withers; such branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask for whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. My Father is glorified by this, that you bear much fruit and become my disciples. As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you; abide in my love.”

Looking more closely at my life in these times, I realize that there are times when I have not abided in God. I’ve tried to dance on my own and I’ve made a mess of things. It is in these times I realize I need to start over.

Starting over begins with recognizing where we’ve failed and asking for forgiveness. Sometimes that apology needs is shared with the ones I’ve hurt. But before I can apologize to others, I must begin by returning to God. I must recognize where I’ve tried to dance on my own and stumbled all over the place.

All of us stumble and all of us need to confess and ask forgiveness of God and one another. If we do it regularly, even daily, we are able to let go of the things that weigh us down and dance freely with God.

Below is a confession that I recently wrote to help me start my days. -

Holy God, I confess that I have fallen into the pit once again. I’ve focused to much on myself. I’ve been distracted by potential futures or snared by memories and lost sight of you, oh Lord.

Forgive me for substituting my thoughts about you for actual time spent with you. Forgive me for being guided by my own understanding of your will and my desire to be “successful” in my own eyes and the eyes of society, rather than trusting and surrendering to you.

Lord, help me to once again put down my own agenda and trust you. Teach me to recognize your presence and heed your direction. In each moment of the day, grant me boldness in following you and humility in leading others. Show me when to talk and when to listen. Show me when to teach others and when to learn from them. Bring me back here before you, on my knees each day so that all my love and all my efforts glorify your name, not my own.

Allow me to be a unique pane of stained glass through which your light shines. When I speak, let it be your voice people hear. When I act, may it be an extension of your will. May my actions be the embodiment of the person you have made me to be. May I pour my heart and strength into your causes for your sake. May I trust you to use me for your glory and for the sake of the world you love.

Amen

This is the confession I am using right now. Consider writing your own confession.