I See You - Right Here, Right Now
Several years ago, I boarded a plane to fly home after a business trip on behalf of the church. I was seated beside two gentlemen, one older and the other younger than me. Both greeted me with a polite smile, and we proceeded to make small talk while settling ourselves. When I asked about their travels, they shared that they had just come from a training for pastors learning to start new congregations. The elder gentleman had sponsored the younger. Both were inspired by the speakers and eager to put what they had learned into action. So eager, in fact, that I seemed like a good target for their enthusiasm.
It did not take long for them to learn that I had in fact already been saved and that I was now a practicing Lutheran. This is when the older man checked out. I was apparently no longer worth his time since my soul was clearly lost to the dark side… He covered his eyes with a silk mask, plugged in his headphones and took a nap.
The younger man remained engaged. We talked about the work of the Spirit and shared our hopes for the future as well as our fears for the church and society. As a new pastor, he was excited and nervous about his first job. I encouraged him and he encouraged me in my work and my faith journey. It was a lovely conversation within which the Holy Spirit was very present. Midway through the flight, the older man woke from his nap, removed his headphones and proceeded to talk with the younger man as if I weren’t there. Eventually we each drifted to our own distractions – me with noise cancelling headphones playing a podcast and the young pastor with his book. At the end of the flight, we wished one another well and I never saw them again.
Reflecting on that trip, I’m struck by the difference in the way the two men treated me. The older man saw me as an object to be converted so he could place another notch in his belt and impress his student in the process. The young man saw a human being with whom he could engage, learn and share.
Which man was the Christian on that flight? The answer is pretty clear.
When people leave the Church, one of their chief complaints is that they were treated like objects – prizes to be acquired for the sake of the institution or sources of cash to keep it going.
People need community. They always have, but this is especially true in the age of COVID when so many are so isolated and searching for meaning. Congregations would be the ideal place to welcome the lonely if we actually practiced what most of us preach - that all are welcome. Unfortunately, newcomers are regularly turned into objects within congregations. When new faces walk in the door, they are treated as “fresh meat” - resources to assimilate and use to sustain the congregation. Portraying congregations in this way sounds absurd and cruel. Yet the Congregational Vitality Survey revealed this pattern in hundreds of congregations across the country. When people rate their own congregations, most of the say they are very welcoming to newcomers but far fewer say they accept newcomers into the congregation’s life and even fewer seek out and use the gifts of all their members. We love to be nice, but we don’t love genuinely getting to know people, especially if the new person wants to bring their whole selves to the congregation - including their own passion, vision and ideas.
While it is very hard to break into the culture of a congregation, churches don’t have a monopoly on this behavior. Treating one another as objects seems to be the default behavior for most of us most of the time.
When is the last time you looked into the eyes of your waiter, cashier or the homeless person on the corner holding a sign? When did you see a person you didn’t know who was obviously having a bad day and say something loving to them? The simple act of really seeing someone can make their day and sometimes change their lives. It may even change our own life.
For me, this is what the Good Samaritan story is about (Luke 10:25-37 and Matthew 25:31-46). It tells the story of two church leaders who did not truly see the person in the ditch as a person at all. Rather these leaders saw the victim as an object to be avoided. It was only the Samaritan who saw the person as a child of God, someone with whom he was bound to like the rest of creation. This perspective allowed him to truly see the injured man and respond out of love.
We can’t stop and talk to each person we encounter, but we can strive to see each of them as a person rather than an object. This requires us to pull our minds out of our busy thoughts and really be present. Once we do, we will begin to see the world as God sees it – with all its beauty and sorrow. This practice reveals the world as it actually is – not simply the world of our imagination.
To genuinely experience either God or one another, we need to first be present ourselves – right here and now.
This is difficult. Most of the time we are lost in our minds, digging through the past or imagining the future. God invites us to learn to check our agendas at the door and spend time in the present moment. When we show up in the present moment, we can finally see what is right in front of us.
Becoming aware of and remaining in the present moment is an essential spiritual practice. Give it a try. Who will you truly see this week?
